Book
Spending the holidays with people I want to punch in the throat : yuletide yahoos, ho-ho-humblebraggers, and other seasonal scourges
Publication Information
New York : Ballantine Books, 2015.
Physical Description
xx, 196 pages : illustrations ; 21 cm
Summary
"For fans of Laurie Notaro and Jenny Lawson comes an uproarious and oddly endearing essay collection for anyone trying to survive the holidays in one piece. When it comes to time-honored holiday traditions, Jen Mann pulls no punches In this hilariously irreverent collection of essays, Jen Mann, nationally bestselling author of People I Want to Punch in the Throat, turns her mordant wit on the holidays. On Mann's naughty list: mothers who go way overboard with their Elf on the Shelf, overzealous carolers who can't take a hint, and people who write their Christmas cards in the third person ("Joyce is enjoying Bunko. Yeah, Joyce, we know you wrote this letter."). And on her nice list. well, she's working on that one. Here, no celebration is off-limits. The essays include: You Can Keep Your Cookies, I'm Just Here for the Booze Nice Halloween Costume. Was Skank Sold Out? Why You Won't Be Invited to Our Chinese New Year Party From hosting an ill-fated Chinese New Year party, to receiving horrible gifts from her husband on Mother's Day, to reluctantly telling her son the truth about the Easter Bunny, Mann knows the challenge of navigating the holidays while keeping her sanity intact. And even if she can't get out of attending another Christmas cookie exchange, at least she can try again next year. Advance praise for Spending the Holidays with People I Want to Punch in the Throat "Jen Mann understands that wanting to be a good person and yearning to punch the deserving in the throat aren't mutually exclusive. At no time is this more evident than during the holidays. Buy this book if you're a fan of not spending the holidays behind bars."--Jen Lancaster, author of I Regret Nothing Praise for People I Want to Punch in the Throat "Jen Mann says the things we're all too afraid to say. Her honest and hilarious writing style reminds me of David Sedaris and Tina Fey."--Robin O'Bryant, author of Ketchup Is a Vegetable "Comedy gold. Reading her stories is like riding a waterslide: fast, direct and unpredictable."--New York Daily News "Will make you cringe and burst out laughing at the same time."--Karen Alpert, author of I Heart My Little A-Holes"--
Contents
- 10 things I hate about the holidays
- Section one: Christmas memories I'd like to forget
- Before Toddlers & tiaras there was me
- The white trash dollhouse
- Like a neon virgin in Guess jeans and Swatch watches
- The dreaded annual Christmas photo
- Doesn't everyone wrap Christmas presents in their underwear?
- Hey, Santa, keep your yule log to yourself!
- Section tow: Making my own Christmas memories (note: they still suck!)
- Fa-ra-ra-ra-raa, ra-ra-ra-raa: my Christmas story
- Hoarder's delight
- Overachieving Elf on the Shelf mommies
- Ho-ho-horrendous
- One man's junk is my precious children's gift
- Wait, who is the reason for the season?
- How shopping with me at Christmastime is the best birth control there is
- Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between a home invasion and an overzealous crew of Christmas carolers
- You can keep your cookies, I'm just here for the booze
- Suburban moms' endless Christmas conversation loop
- I should have had a damn holiday system
- Annual Christmas letters: the art of the humblebrag
- Section three: Other holidays (that still annoy me), in no particular order
- Why you won't be invited to our Chinese New Year party this year, or ever
- Nice Halloween costume, was Skank sold out?
- Thanksgiving Day parades suck when they're not in HD
- My first and last Mother's Day present
- The Easter I blew Gomer's mind.