eBook
hoopla Instant
My Soul Hurts
Year
2019
Language
ENGLISH
Publication Information
BookBaby
Summary
To Survivors, I am with you. Keep your head up, find people that will stand next to you in your pain. What feels like a never-ending mess will start to get better? Healing is possible, not easy, but possible. Find your courage and RISE. My first marriage was abusive, my first ex-husband was always cheating on me and did not respect my boundaries sexually. I became pregnant with my youngest child when I did not want to. I was going to school and working. I thought that I had no right to say no because I was his wife. This is what a wife is obligated to do, Right? Hell No! In my second marriage to James, I learned about his secret of statutory rape. We met with Jenefer, the parent's counselor. After that meeting, something happened to me, I became depressed and started to get glimpses of my childhood abuse. I was crying a lot, and I felt frantic inside. I was not displaying it, but inside of me, there was turmoil. This was when my soul began to hurt. I understand why I did everything my two husbands asked me to do, I was used to the control and doing what others asked of me. When it was happening, I didn't realize that I was replaying the obedient child and wife that I had been most of my life. I also now know that they were exercising control and power. My Second husband isolated me slowly, and I was letting it happen. I felt powerless. Parts of my story are difficult to share, but I feel that it is important because I am sure that I am not the only one that has gone through this. I debated about adding some part to my book - I needed to expose it with the hope that someone who might be going through something similar will find themselves worthy. Sometimes you feel like you don't have a choice, that's the victim. Find the survivor and know that you have the right to say "no."